CAREGIVERS NEED SELF-CARE TO BATTLE COMPASSION FATIGUE Compassion literally means "to suffer with," and that is just what can happen to those who practice great empathy -- they absorb the pain and trauma of others until they themselves become mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted. This condition is often called "compassion fatigue." Colleen Breen, the author of Making Changes: A Guidebook for Managing Life's Challenges, describes it as a kind of "soul sadness" because there is an inner, core reality that closes down when people become so overwhelmed by the needs and concerns of others that they forget to take care of themselves.

Medical and mental health care professionals, emergency care workers, clergy, counselors, and volunteers who work with very sick or troubled people are particularly susceptible to compassion fatigue. But anyone who is called upon to perform frequent acts of care, such as caring for a gravely ill or elderly loved one or doing volunteer work at a crisis center, is vulnerable.

Breen says that during her 27 years as a licensed social worker and psychotherapist she has worked with thousands of caregivers who have so overextended themselves in the service of others that they suffer from "care-giving shutdown." They often become withdrawn and joyless, irritable, depressed, uninterested in intimacy and sex, and feel like they're "just going through the motions" of their lives with no sense of purpose or meaning. They might also employ what Breen calls "negative coping skills" by turning to smoking, drinking, drug use, or other addictive behaviors.

Because compassion fatigue adversely affects body, mind and spirit, it makes sense to concentrate on those areas when attempting to treat or prevent this condition. People active in Twelve Step mutual-help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon are steps ahead of the game because they learn the importance of self-care and living a well-balanced life.

Breen also stresses the importance of nurturing body, mind and spirit. She says that caretakers should have some kind of physical regimen to deal with the stress that settles in their minds and bodies. It is equally important to take quiet time for reflection, prayer, or solitude and to engage creatively with things other than caregiving. Hobbies, engaging in the arts, and listening to music are wonderful ways to tend your soul, says Breen.

Many people in recovery from addiction have also discovered how critical it is to reach out to others when the weight of the world seems too much to bear alone. But asking for help is often difficult for those whose job or nature is to care for others. Caregivers suffering from compassion fatigue have expressed grief, shame and fear about the emptiness they feel. "They wonder," says Breen, "how they can tend to others if they feel like they've lost their compassion?"

Loved ones can often be catalysts for someone getting help. Breen suggests that you voice your concerns in a loving way in order to start a conversation with someone you think is exhibiting symptoms of compassion fatigue. Sometimes such an expression of concern is the first step toward addressing the problem.

"There is this myth that we have unlimited energy; but we are not Energizer Bunnies," says Breen. "We can't just keep going and going and going, giving and giving and giving. Self-care is a way to charge our inner batteries so we can continue caring for others."

Alive & Free is a health column that provides information to help prevent and address substance abuse problems and is reprinted with permission. It is created by Hazelden, a nonprofit agency that offers a wide range of info and services on addiction.